coc4in3cowb0y asked:
What were those five months like, if you don't mind my asking?

Honestly. They were a struggle. Some days were fucking hard. However looking back, I’ve never been happier in my life. I can’t remember a time when I just felt so a peace with myself and where I was in life. Getting sober for 5 months was probably the best thing I did. I learned to love myself again and take care of my body and put only good healthy things into it. I was satisfied with where I was living and my job. I was happy to just be able to come home and take a nap. I was so appreciative of everything. I felt so blessed to be able to look up and the sky and the sun and know millions of people are seeingn the same sun I do. However some days sucked. I didn’t lily myself, my body, my personality. I felt I had ruined my life. On those days I just gave in. I allowed myself to hate myself for one day. To just give me more motivation to love myself the next. I don’t plan on going back to heavy using like I was. I just find drugs pleasurable and socially fun. I think I should be allowed to go out on Fridays and get drunk with my significant other or girlfriends you know? But I’ll never return to that hell I was in 6 months ago.


i wish i could get drunk without having to drink alcohol

(via damn-funny)


I just wanted to use these two examples to explain this. A lot of times people ask why males get eating disorders because they think we do it to get thin. And then people think it’s unattractive for guys to be thin. But here’s the thing there are two body types we strive for: Abs & Muscles (left) or a slender look (right). Unfortunately when doing this we go too far and don’t achieve these in a healthy way much like girls who want to be thin. We take it too far to the point it’s a sick body with ribs, collar bones, hip bones, and spines showing to a point of extremity. Either that or we get muscles but suffer other bodily problems. At this point we don’t even care and keep going. If it kills us then fine we don’t care anymore. We still want one of these two looks and think we can still get it but we just get sicker and sicker. We also get frustrated because we wonder why we can’t get these body types. Girls want the skinny look because let’s face it and be completely honest, tons of guys want big boobs, big ass, and a thin body. The same goes for guys but not to be thin. Lots of girls(or guys if you’re gay) want muscles or a good body. They expect one of these two but it really is just as hard to get these as it is for a girl to be thin. The sad thing is we too die in the process to be wanted and accepted. If only more people would not be so fixated on specific traits we must have because we feel like we can’t offer it. This post is to raise awareness that boys have self esteem issues and Eating Disorders. Can we just stop expecting others to have these standards and love them more for the character.






Please… let me look like this.

i don’t text first unless ur bae or my drug dealer

(Source: h0mefry, via ssl218)


bad habits

(via w0rthless-cunt)

(via ssl218)




Same fucking same



(Source: nya-kin, via quiintana-13)




My legs don’t look that great, but I can do it at least. Is that enough? No? Ok…